continually working on something mysterious
the main point of contention
being geographical
unbelievers
this, being the second chance
you’ve been waiting for
wearing black from head to toe
I need no understanding,
I need convincing
viewed quickly, silently
on reflecting, what else?
harsh weather
subtle patchwork
“the work”
twelve point times new roman
coming back to the same thing
myself, so dumb in your vision
I should start by explaining
zen and romanticism
ancient metrics
the real and ideal,
at least for a while
the mostly holy guilt being formed
no necessary consequence
the structure of feeling
ahead of this eternally delayed book project
the self beyond the subject
or the other way around?
another –ism as aesthetic
widespread ironic cough of tragic desire
too myopic to love
my heart gathers disasters
flimsy sheer black lycra
ordinary things in detail
people aren’t going to like that
kind-of degrading
somebody memorable
quickly changing in real time
an acceptable amount of anything other than what was intended
looking closer from the observer’s standpoint
paying my bills as performance art
practicing virtue
oscillating between new conceptual shenanigans
falling apart in fresh, innovative ways
shuddering into eternity and wherever else, I guess
practice made public
“the boy prefers poetry”
writing about myself, angry and bored
when will I become serious about anything?
spread out
making a mess
grapefruit juice
knowing smile
very friendly explaining
how I would rearrange your hair
one handed realism
“and then what?”
misspell playful
making me cum with your mouth
loving magic,
my, what has happened to the morning?
fastening your watch
next, flflfl ipping pages
sparkling water
the passing of time
wiped nose right sleeve
nobody noticed
overcast sky
renewed passport
those very lips
to-do to-do to-do
performed in reverse
eyes apologetic
fififi xed on a point
swift as it may appear
I panicked
essentially
himself, his past, his work
not partial to Bordeaux,
preferred Burgundy
enthusiastic whenever fertility
self-mocking, smarter
“how do I write about sex?”
the same way you’d write about board games.
the same way you get arrested in the 8th arrondissment
do me a favor?
defififi ne “misleading” for me, ma’am?
if your literary posturing insists
“voyant,” seeing
“diamastigosis”
at the shrine of artemis orthia
the whip, the english vice
pleading struggle pathetic
the imagination runs with what is hinted
cold, at parts
the language at the time
no argument recent
ritualized suppression
both of these things
sterile, deliberate
collective cultural memory
digital camera narrator
to “not attempt great themes that have been tried many times before.”
shoot the portrait painter
brooding over the crucifififi xion
sky blue in the back
stay here with me, my sweet
read me Judith Butler quotes
which we both agree
take control of the failing
popular nostalgia
lopsided
never considered not dying in the city
delightfully impersonal organic
mythological hangover
the yoga of the west
industrialized speed
compassionate reaction
suggesting value
never let it show
even if ill at ease
kinetic rivalry
minnows
suspicious, something
probably a mistake
idea slightest hadn’t
imbalance, exactitude
working part-time
something with my eyes closed
troubled movements
it was monday
I assume you’re home in bed
thanks, doc
white, showing dirt
sabbath, black
in touch with the gods
acute trauma
a cute
a fair compromise,
all things considered
tranquil, enamel
features so radiant
no, never seen someone so beautiful
embraced and holding
eroticism, ritualized
not a sign, maybe a sign
(and so are we)
atomic gold
locking eyes
I understand completely
2200+3100
5300
stockpiled in the second drawer
all hundreds
systemic fear
three uncashed cheques
990, 930, 1010
attention to fififi gures
“the fear”
no, “the worry”
running after you
with convenience store flflfl owers
I had changed my mind
ready to spend the day with you
never just coffffff ee
i’d sell it all but the books
if things were diffffff erent
you have my attention
the plants are nice, but we need the room darker
the soft part of your wrist, that’s where the ink is
a hard time understanding what I want
the cat curls up on my feet
existing everyday severely
the weather report
and you’re not adjusting
suggestive cynicism touching
in such a rush
“you want me, come and get me”
hmm?
feel sorry for your brain, momentarily
compassionate maverick to irresponsible lunatic
personally terrifying potency
when you love your job,
it’s only half a job
in gullible research
“how to declutter your life in 12 steps or less”
no illusions
a very compelling scenario
calm, cool, collected
when you love your life,
???
there is undoubtedly some truth to this
symbolic surveillance still comes as a shock
a nasty habit
like none of this ever happened
suspicious avoidance
again and again, graciously
in that situation
you couldn’t help but sit and wonder what goes on in there,
her head
you couldn’t spend a lot of time trying to fififi gure it out
I checked the weather on my phone instead of stepping outside
3 degrees doesn’t tell me what jacket to wear
you leave so early, most mornings
short week days offffff pile up
june, july, august
i can’t describe my relationship with you
testify!
turn around and state your name
that sounds about right
gaze kept pace
recognized wrong
thinking with my mouth open
I had decided to look serious
no, no arguments
not exactly complicit
free when convenient
the glasses were delicate, so one of them broke
wandering around the flflfl at in an open shirt
we are talking about the same person
squeezed with all my strength
still warm with sleep
squinting towards tomorrow
very agreeable translation
Gramsci, Mussolini
ambitious on paper
ok, big shot
lots of scary work to do
loyalty rewarded with
stress-less-ness
not forever, just for today
and tomorrow
my young girlfriend and I
in control feelings
eavesdropping
no, not swimming
peppered “no” answers
thought a setup
seduced
in books I’ve read before
aroused calm
wink,
gotcha
devotion
a face that can change in an instant
increased episodes of paranoia
in books I’ve read before
interoception
the contours of sadness
complicit mistrust
you put the money in the machine and the candy comes out
automatic response,
technically
the results a “debacle”
and a “failure”
fififi lled with painkiller humility
no smiles or interest in small talk
restricted line of questioning
a couple of places worth complaining about
open success
just doing it right
a generational thing
fififi ngerpointing
as a joke,
it doesn’t sound very fun
a testament to it’s rhetorical power
the age of inexperience
a white background with nothing else to soften it
that one future self
raised very independently
re-framed as a flflfl aw
I was surprised she’d never brought it up before
cold shower relationship
the kind that’s easy to cut ties with
the memory not messy
concern shouldn’t be there
cat eyes narrow
offffff key sung
a chore, a challenge
left leg bent
right leg straight
start, drop, resume
discarded, forgotten, damaged
in the word processing pool
reinvented impulse for rescue
a secular way
speeds up the process
refififi ned, idealized
peaceful sleep and pasture grass
obsessive demand for carefree use
prosciutto and brie stuck in your teeth,
that makes sense
I guess
needing a shower, wanting to be home
plunged into perplexity
smiling at your reflflfl ection in the mirror
luck was certainly with us
a literary event
boxing up the past and starting a new life
again
having sex on a white leather sectional couch that keeps shifting
and splitting apart
an emergency always
now you sit in furious silence on a train heading south
and there is still snow on the ground
and there is a fourty-something year old business woman
having trouble with her pc, it keeps beeping
making a ‘krshnk’ sound indicating a crashing program
you close your eyes and forget the layout of your old apartment,
trying to fififi nd the washroom in your mind
quick to slaughter
the thought shatters and you wonder what time it is
time moves faster when you’re unaware of the time
ah, I forgot to pay the rent yesterday
am I missing the appropriate paperwork?
no offffff ense, I just hear and obey
the mercurial type
pout, pouting
hands shaking
total absence, sugarless
know what I mean?
too new, it’s understandable
bronze in birth
but where is my wealthy patron?
skillful translation
threatened by the real change in contemporary writing
no, the writer and his four-minute mile
in the garden
thinking staying skinny
knees down
it’s what we pay the rent for
we collaborate via skype,
ranking academic systems
why I haven’t been reading
didactic and plain
the pursuit of self-improvement
a permanent rehearsal
a matter of taste
constant repositioning
urgently clear, not interesting
but what does the algorithm say?
belong, betray, simplifififi ed liquidation
of course
a great virtue and a big sky
utility,
you ought to know this
practical experiments or incidents
whether or not you agree on our compatibility
hit the breaks in a diffffff erent way
I agree to this without explanation
unceasing work on obsession
speculative realism
the condition of absence
careful and rationalized categorization
accessible only upon an encounter with a personal disappointment
familiar things
memory, again
inventory, archive
clear, not interesting
identifying avoidance as troubling
and you, so fucking great
not generic
new life easy
in love with my lack of a dictionary
I can’t be more clear
resisting language
per se
an undisputed absolute value
learning
that’s how it is
rendered passive at fififi rst
pathological self-conscious unapproachable confififi dent dramatist
gentle focus
sun and moon and stars
saying nothing in particular
staunch defender of our future
though I’m embarrassed to admit it
metonymy instead of metaphor
you, the link I’ve been searching for
the water I drink and the data I transmit
against the background of another crisis
this one particular one this one
institutionalized refusal
andrea the hanged
keep it honest, temporary
clock ticking toward the work day
losing fififi ve pounds in fifififi ve days
loud, hard-drinking, ladies man
remarkable intensity of feeling
markmaking more revealing
already needy capability
see what I’m saying?
a possible insult
authentic when going dark
with your head down
past the end of your myth
the protagonist,
the suicide bomber
both, tranquil sometimes
ain’t that right, tomcat?
the whole working
a pleasure to see
painfully honest interference
giving shape to its yearning
very demanding but worth the effffff ort
a considerable future
yet we must remain evasive
as the practice becomes commonplace
content in our trembling
nude gesture studies
counterbalance of exceptional things
now I am adrift in my apartment,
perhaps a worthy theme for the book I must write
a soft novelization
of how I fell in love with the religious image of you
or narcotics and a sedentary life
boxed hair dye named after a natural disaster
‘hurricane sandy blonde’
available everywhere beauty products can be found
forgetful, we laughed
thinking about face fucking
a hysterical statement
“my need is such / I pretend too much”
holding tight to montreal empty empty storefront
maybe we could but later
instead,
undress
usual kisses ordinary eternal
one lost comma
clear crystal
zodiac messages taken under advisory
grow your hair long,
take your desire seriously
go down on the dictionary with remarkable style
describing what is revealed when the veil is lifted
understanding to pursued
marginal obscenity apocalypse
early morning
recent manicure sharp
writing Picabia verse on my back
upper thighs Proust
central heat means no socks are needed
radicchio double c’s and bitter greens
puntarelle everything
holding your legs up preventing a headache
until we’re both sticky
botanical garden climax trance
outside felt too harsh
afternoon anxiety nap
family sick and language barrier sense of things
blood rush useless adding sorrow to facts
all your bad words for me
you can keep
cool and collected
lousy complexion
as if the demand is all too great
a comforting message
asking all the suitors to leave
I had to see if I could pull it off
a sobriety dream
that name still tastes like vomit to me
black shirt used as a blindfold
not bright colors but a blessing
you never know what may turn to be useful
the weather turns to flflfl rries
cashing a $1000 cheque
minor poet
oh, just existing
mercy
where does one fififi nd a horseshoe in the city?
fetishized good luck charmer writer’s wife
sleeping naked knees knocked
grocery list
meaning it is sunday
perrier and ice cream
has anyone ever grinned more than me?
do nothing better,
sober honey baby
masterpiece lost moodswing paradise
“without you I’m nothing”
good health
away from my thoughts,
your ‘just visiting’ cynicism
running the shower for the sound alone
forgive me, I just wanted to taste revenge
unstimulating as time spent
you, mosquito bite
scratched til it bled
to a more brutal eye
all flflfl owers look alike
bored again of witchcraft,
a synonym for having nothing interesting to say
“adam was bored alone,
then adam and eve were bored together”
apologizes for the attitude,
I’m trying to quit smoking
no objective signs of withdrawal
kindly keep me from sleeping, sweetie
naturally, nothing to do with us
we keep up on our expenses on time, brown eyes
I did forget to get the newspaper
I was thinking of renovations in the house
the study has become a studio again
ugh
take the paintings all down
put them on the terrace
until they fififi nd themselves
penicillin useful
offiffiffi cially fragile
nose running -3 degrees
I can make myself feel as bad as I want
yeah, vivre sa vie
my territory
late night memory disoriented bewildered declaration of love
tired gestures made clumsy I have to stop looking
keep your sadness at an arm’s length
postpone that moment in your notes
never forget, one day you won’t be beautiful to strangers
a teenager makeup how-to video of a person
not me, I’m thinking spring
sockless feet and you and me drinking warm white wine
in this fantasy on the beach probably
hair two shades too light I’m aware I’m irritable
daydream disappearing with a shiver when I hear the tea pot
grim faced in a vintage Guess sweater
I look like I should fuck off
waiting for that response text
feeling like I should fuck off
naturally, all my attention approaches this
dizzy doom various upsetting thoughts yeah
I got that from my mom
decidedly occidental and discouraged, love
as brief as it is usual
the words arranged themselves left to right
parallel pleasure
proof that time has passed
“all we do is talk”
leather jacket surrender
“you wanted to know and now you can’t stop looking.”
ceremonious guillotine speak
without seeming pleased
dismiss me cavalierly
reckless armchair subversive mistress
miss me, maybe
not now
I’m in danger of repeating myself
holy city eternity
forgiveness rocks offffff , my love
lazy magician
close the sheets over me
the same thing forever
intensity balanced in beauty of living and belonging in the world
tomorrow has a wet dog smell to it
take my photograph but don’t do my laundry, please
I don’t even want to I’m just smoking because I’m bored
white rag shower at the bar before coming home
absolute composure
completely normal tone
little by little, you realize that is how you smile
careful smile lip dot distinguishing
landmark on both our maps
your breasts bearing no marks or scars
until you explain that which I don’t see
topographically blind, apparently
being there, are you not somewhat of a tourist?
exacting love, you know
flflfl at loving Matisse
put your hair up in a utilitarian fashion, beautiful
I’m surprised I ever didn’t know you
say something about plants grown indoors
something yet unmade
let our noses collide painless
paris neck and lips
virtue and peace vision
a noir
e blanc
i rouge
u vert
o you
oh you
I got a kick out of you
left eye dulled migraine vision
does your nose bleed like mine?
why, are you worried?
this is how it happens
hold your chin up
it looks better in photographs
naturally
offffff ended at the sentence of death
organics not leaving your side never leaving mine
ooh la la
I feel like I might be losing it
I do not go searching for that which I don’t want to see
turn your head towards kissing me, please
I am aware of elsewhere
I just don’t care
heavy adjectives
jealous vacation
I do smell your absence
east coast anecdote
the test, a false positive
on good days it’s champagne we think of
the prophesy proved space saving
discrediting former lovers in long form essays
I think it’ll explain a lot of things
I always assumed life is short
be assured, my world view is a pretty one.
No comments:
Post a Comment