“the best words in the best order”
8 . was an inside job
i’m studying memory
sharp naked waiting
fire walk away from me
long walks with closed mouths
a lengthy explanation of my recent silences
all smashed glasses without you
kiss me til you care
form a structure and work within it
unscheduled anxiety attack
sunday afternoon baseball
the list of pro’s and cons
the wages of indifference are whatever
show your work
link in bio
please don’t stop
putting a name to need
agent of intimacy, impulsivity
maybe lovers, maybe friends
even losers win
i would do anything for you, even suck dick
i’d suck a dick to make you happy
whatever didn’t happens
no pussycats inside my doghouse
constantly threatening suicide
on a scale from one to death
cause of death
seemingly apocalyptic midnight
you can’t ruined nothing perfect
awareness
gentrify my hood
houseshoes
tall poppy syndrome
zen techno
holy rage
blowjob d.j. vu
calm faith
hey, you real person
irreversible time
metaphysical contradictions
cherry chapstick
green/yellow/black
purple/yellow/black
industrial pornography
metamodernism
nosebleed
aperol and soda
c’est tout
tactical self destruction
tactical as a word for evidence of love
documentary objectivity
suicide eyes, bette davis
invitations, declined
don’t exist
“it’s not that simple”
ruin porn
emotional porn
health porn
ignored ecstasy
dialectic ecstasy
mutual dependency
chronological
compartmentalized
anachronisms
amyl nitrate
yohimbe
“i just want my dick sucked and to go back to work”
distracted sex
“what are you actually thinking of ?”
physical mysticism
domestic perversion
wet dream normalcy
controlled circumstance
elaborate constructs
power dynamics
shared humanity
in bed together
sex and power
exchange of experience, flflfl uids
liberal arts rich colleges
“i’ll always get a ticket but i’ll never get arrested.”
“a” person to “the” person and then “that” person
fififi eldwork
ethnography
“show me the process”
4:44 psychosis
failed actor
literary kink
expanded time
condensed time
luck = loss of control
is it good or is it interesting?
the last minutes of memory
“grown up clothes and poses”
smell memory
bless you
don’t cry over lost work
kaddish for a lost dv tape
black yellow red blue
the shakes
panic, frustration
self-betrayal was an inside job, too
hello, real person
as if saying it makes you real,
this real
“attach-y”
sublimation
stability, consistency
a soft place
voids, depths, blankness
lingering sense of defeat
shutting down, losing interest
the most YOU vs the most often me
going against intuition
lifelong dedication
severe disinterest
endless dulling days and nights
time-lapsed
“like none of this ever happened.”
2g2bt
if I were to explain our relationship to a stranger
joy in repetition
tl;dr
the nervous irritation of desire
icy indiffffff erence
insolence
satisfying glory
soul census
defensive gestures
coquette
passion, caution
mystifififi cation
you’re my cat
the wine riots, 1907 narbonne
vin non conforme
who says “I love you” fififi rst
response and reaction
unhealthy laughter
the world feels hurried
roule
love in speculative terms
duplicity as love
snow blind
point of advantage
settling in
soft cmyk
what good am I if I am not well read?
boring in betrayal
adolescent sexual desire
because I am not meeting you at an intersection
“if you don’t ask, you don’t get.”
I’ll try anything once
false deadlines
deliver us serenity
desire and action
diversions
“en fififi n”
don’t react
stay still
I used to, not anymore
severance package
blissfully unaware
stomach ache
“suicide-y”
puzzling existence
“puzzled”
frightened eyes, looking back at me
anesthetize
objects of desire
temporary suicide
a million shades of worse
nothing sacred
recent circumstances
irresistible thesaurus
quality of life
habitual virtue
genuine interest
old standards
ego death
competition
for example
something completely
outlook on life
unpleasant but not boring
necessarily pleasant
evening hours
variety of amusements
carried away
pushed to extremes
altogether too much
ashamed of myself
under duress
wanting to be held
nothing sacred
a quiet life
contrary to instinct
certain good things
mystical language
half articulate
the general idea
profoundly satisfying
love is an experience
kind of boredom
purely physical
still happens
a certain point
nervous fatigue
time spent
involuntary contact
social pressures
accustomed to anxiety
incapable of happiness
voluntary of involuntary
nerve racking
in such cases
defififi cient in control
born rich
same mood
respectful behavior
unnatural conduct
fear of dismissal
tomorrow’s problems
something off
ordinary days
worrying decisions
success and failure
the less I care
impossible to remember
elaborate investigations
am I happy to see you?
am I happy to see you!
bronte’s dog was named keeper
soul stealing
in love with the word
leonard cohen’s hydra
objets trouves
surveillance
well informed
absent minded
the importance passes
without doom
let us begin again
terms of convenience
conditions of failure
complicit
pure will
once and for all
desirable
vanishing point
statute of limitations
reverberations
praxis
love story fatigue
legibility
rituals
wasteful smokers
you can’t ruined nothing perfect
an interesting situation
the who -> signifififi er of assumption
the what -> my onset feelings
la jetee is twenty eight minutes long
stop making excuses
mid length black hair hitting shoulders
restless, familiar
agile
“I’m sure I’ll see you soon”
I’m not what you think
mood more brilliant and dazzling
can you ever be sure?
none of your streets offend me
indifference to ecstasy
how do you know I’m talking about you?
erotic triggers
symbolic solutions
tomorrow, forever
no, I know
I think, no, I know
functional fixedness
cutaneous rabbit illusion
hypercorrection
paint your pockets
auxiliary phrasing
“I prefer you a distant enemy than a close friend”
releasing sweetness
welcoming all forms of the future over an illusion of the past
implicit actions
talking generally
trying to empty my head
retain the essential
pace works slowly
perfectly adjusted
“her ghost”
fate in disguise
pointing
waiting
don’t need constant dialog
forms of liberation
sovereignty of the subject
hypnosis
devotion
hear before technique
disassociation
from poet to poet, painter to painter
“is this really me?”
plants – talk to plants
“I won’t let the fififi lm get in the way of the novel”
a novel about not being able to fififi nish a novel,
a fififi lm about not being able to fifififi nish a fifififi lm
black and white Xerox cellphone shots
printed and used in instances where fififi lming is not permitted
the cat, the girl, the books, the cigarettes
sexting my bookcase to you
“before we start, we should state some recent facts.”
I am not a romantic, so why is everything a fucking love poem?
paper that have been spraypainted over
patterns ecstatic
method writing
the time spent talking about work
ruminations of work past
foretelling of work to come
monetary predators
“just like us”
if I don’t feel bad is there something wrong
I added joy to joy, and yet I am still unhappy
I used to think I needed a lot of things to
nothing but the rest
“his sins were scarlet but his books were read”
trauma
sombre
soft and gentle and lovely
“my cross and my delight.”
the guiding spirit
steam baths
disaffffff ected
the torture of misunderstanding
sensitive and volatile
controlling that volatility
rediscovered living alone
sticky personalities
sex as hypnosis
art as love letters
formality, restraint
not the same
maya deren
sex, love, absolution
horoscopes, tarot
falsifififi ed records
go ahead, I’ll be there soon
my mouth is so dry, exercised not talking
dulling everyday, everyday dulling
“I wanted to stay in bed, stay asleep, but it doesn’t grant me peace
either. nothing I do is making me happy.”
I must succeed
bad faith / mauvaise foi
situations
sex when tired
someone to work with
cynicism
something sinister
“it can’t be me all of the time.”
love of sports
love of dates, names, numbers
sublimating a sex drive into working on scattered ideas
I have more ideas than I could imagine using
“we must remain lucid to the bitter end”
as if it had never been
a dangerous streak of tenderness
again, drying out
why we don’t make good friends
passive, passive, active, neutral
slow, controlled speech
self-destructiveness
keeping track of dates, times, symbols, events
list of books to read in 2018
linguistic skill, aphorisms
submerging correspondence into the workflflfl ow
love of a name, our names together, ours alone
‘swans’ as a metaphor
“I’m thankful for my life”
a mistake
very one dimensional world view
that place of prestige
sexless embraces
when my feelings are hurt, I feel that pain in my left thumb
limerence, crucifififi xion syndrome, reflflflfl exology
happy not showering, not having a clean home
expending nervous energy into reading
bleaching my bangs to match sontag’s
sanity, caution, egotists
the metaphysical
the walking stick that virginia woolf carried to the river’s edge
hope less ness less
love, in dog years
a yawn is an afterthought of love
“I can pinpoint the exact moment I’ve met two people in my life,
and they’re both through glass doors.”
publications for speed freaks
most people are more patient than i
all the lily’s painted soft purple, but it’s not an immediate concern
the fourth wave
an endless outpouring
what you need
but that’s not what we do
how to end the book
crying and shaking at the not new
this again
the patriot missile
it’s just showbiz, baby
wishing well
harmony
shy, shrug
support
one of a kind
“there is nothing sweet about me”
never felt good before
it wasn’t always that way
there more I read, the more I get what I want
admission of guilt
I just wanted you to know
engaging
let’s get married next week
getting older
don’t aim for the bullseye
walk slowly
don’t take the easy shot
several facts
eliminating the unnecessary
center of interest
what is really happening here
you got to look into the future
yes very much so
intuition vs analysis
a record of what happened
contempt
why did I do it this way
against preciousness
power and purity
can’t stand sentimentality
tension memory
don’t take many images, just enough
“a little too much is just enough for me”
and now, you are part of my work
ethical issue
no separation between fififi ction and documentary
“let the old dead make way for the young dead”
a tout de suite
rien, jamais
the pure image
representing time
contrasting grammar
it always takes something from you
what am I going to do
use your words
working hard to make it work
identify yourself
altogether too bohemian
pathological
irresistible
dialectic of desire
repeating myself
objective analysis
later in my life
the failed self
I care but not really
seduction culture
meta analysis
quantitative methodology
the hall of mirrors
self-suffiffiffi cient vulnerable dependence
apocalyptic reasoning
apocalyptic catalog
ironic detachment
forced choice
milgram experiment
organizational narcissism
love bombing
word salad
gesture of care
devalue and discard
cult following
avoidance attachment
trauma bonds
repetition
transference
obedient revisionist
mental health
everyday words
against coldness
the sensation of understanding
civilizational habit
addiction as performance art
not rationalizing but explaining
some idea formed
mimesis
made of each other
made for each other
the uncanny valley
“splitting”
sacrificial crisis
kant’s formula
tell it not in gath, publish it not in the streets of askelon
sequence of events
“if you can do it it ain’t bragging.”
awaiting, numbering
terrorist / 911
rilke, auden, lesbian
even venus was crosseyed
morning shower
pre sex nap
thinking about the future
white walls
pastel colors
contemplating drug time
the calendar of neglect
who put you up to this?
the problem isn’t the paragraph, it’s the sentence
the gentleman unbuttoned his blouse
fall in / fall out
white wine, reading
the fififi lm was sensual
DNA, yours and mine, mixing
I don’t want to think about it, the past
absurdly prompt
magazines meant for keeping
harsh carbon
whiskey sunburn
temporary absent inhibitions
worry
erstatz prose
should I continue?
suicide note anthology
answered prayers
but I don’t know zadie smith
I should try to, early morning
destroy endlessness
the work comes when it’s time to work
cryptic syntax
escorted offffff the premises
anyone is capable of terrorism
17 dead in flflfl orida school shooting
don’t make a habit of it
in bare feet
I don’t want to lose my place
university fucks
maybe we can call this genre “post-plagiarism”
interoception
citizen belligerent
what do the words mean?
pillow princess
price war
the clothes make the man
messy, blurry
i’m worried about you
i can’t believe i’m in paris
structure of feeling
nothing for sale
mocking, learning
the gallery as a place of offiffiffi cial business
what do we fall in when we fall in love?
you better believe it
fuck it, anyhow
out of loss
what comes next?
deface what you take
performance art: paying my bills
how to practice virtue
pain is a garment
content scraping
concerning authorship
perfect digital copies
at what age do I become serious about anything
you can’t own a cat: a codependent performance piece
‘poetry makes nothing happen’
books as raw data
shh, this is a library
it’s hard to write about these things
the only word for ‘not the city’ I know
my queen of the prairies
I wish to be assassinated as an act of indiffffff erence
conservative lean
lacrimae rerum
acedia
welschmerz
anomie, the condition
mono no aware
mal du si.cle
no new freedoms
‘as soon as I start talking about my life, I start lying straight away.’
populist poetry
la verite ultime
strange now to think of you
stain my dna
declasse
un coup de des – a throw of the dice
le prince foudroye
volupte
le mal avoir
malentendu du temps
amicalement
all privileges lead to the guillotine
precocious ecstasy
however you feel
kiss me any way, anyway
sleepless on cialis
and then came nothing
asking the chicken about the chicken soup
more beautiful in the future
being lonely in the city is better than being lonely in the country
for me, myself
the breakthrough brokethrough, though
polyamorous in creative endeavors: monogamous in love
mythology
m.tier
clinical misadventure
saturation reporting
parajournalism
licking my various wounds
overall more stable, just as reflflfl exive in mood
predatory living
ontological rivalry
after proust, the rest
our words
amorous dictionary
emotional criteria
ceremony
the act of writing
softly, more
our understanding of love has been hijacked
lord, deliver me a wealthy patron
ending paranoia
pregnancy tests and daytime cold medicine
“it’s one or the other but not both”
“what needs to be said is best said twice”
pathological
irresistible
dialectic of desire
throwing up love
camus the goalkeeper
habits of speech
thought blocking
reliable
ambitious
sensual
eye for beauty
naive
suburban
lazy
281-330-8004
actavis
anxiety, sinning
thought blocking
making progress
the monologue means nothing to me
that doesn’t excite me anymore
party’s over
it happens often
painkiller orgasm
celebrate life, romanticize death
awfully vivid awful vividness
extremist, perhaps
freedom isn’t free
heal, healed
doubts, large and small
forever is a long time
eat, pray, leave
being there together is enough
a crafted heaven in hell
attention thrives
endlessnessless
where is the ecstasy now?
eternal tired tidal eyes
catastrophe everything
you are completely happy
a rose is on the table
just facts
things i like and dislike
the prophesy
living well is the best revenge
something before, nothing after
martini heidegger
linkedin b johnson
i think about killing myself twice a day
liberte, fraternite, egilite
adult films
i don’t want to hire a lawyer, i want to pay the judge
better myself
i don’t know if i should say this, but
a comprehensive list of things I had no intention of doing
holding hands
public displays of affection
pet names
more focused
the opposite of what i usually do
the facts
small talk
it just happened that way
the table salt of the earth
reversal of freedom
as it comes
no certain regard
no foreseeable end
loving you as social protest
touching herself in the stacks, in the mystery section
a better place is hard to find
not a reworking of language
how to improve your writing in 12 passive aggressive steps
extremely happy until further notice
5-hydroxytryptophan
say hello to the new bad boy of poetry
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