ECSTASY OF BLANK PAGES
smoking quiet backyard joints
(50/50 tobacco ratio)
next to gas-can and plants
and feel bad for the flower
that doesn’t get to leave
anxiously awaiting
new-night-stomache-ache
but good food
and sleep beside you
smashed all knuckles
on novels
(my alphabetical violence)
punching eternity in the face
with a penstroke
no, i not now or never not
needed no nothing or not
no-things
never
fififi ve photographs and a poem [for papersafe]:
- self-portrait in mirror while getting my hair cut
- snow blowing offffff buildings during a surprisingly sunny
winter day
- girlfriend asleep, morning sun, legs sticking out of
blankets
- close-up of cat fighting with toy mouse filled with
catnip
- underexposed sunset out of the back window of a
borrowed SUV
taking photographs is a waste of time, like
reading, walking, running, researching, kissing your lover,
sleeping beside your lover, wanting to be nowhere except
beside your lover, allocating notes, having a late night
beer at your favorite bar, getting blackout drunk at your
favorite bar, jamming text into a word-processor while
listing to henry miller audiobooks, riding your bike,
writing your name on walls, cooking a healthy meal without
really thinking about it being healthy, laying on the beach,
laying in the grass, laying in bed, smoking in bed, staying
in bed, making love while crime serials play on your laptop,
rereading noam chomsky in meticulous detail, making lists,
making plans, taking long showers, taking short showers,
enjoying your day, and
writing poems.
time to kill
24/01/2015
12:15, 12:22, 12:40, 12:41, 12:58, 1:07, 1:11, 1:16, 1:20,
1:22, 1:31, 1:35, 1:36, 1:40, 1:48, 1:51, 2:03, 2:09, 2:11, 2:14,
2:20, 2:38, 2:54, 3:00, 3:15, 3:30, 3:45, 4:09, 4:22, 4:35, 4:40,
4:42, 4:43, 4:44, 4:47, 4:48, 4:50, 5:12, 5:19, 5:33, 5:48, 5:50,
5:59, 6:09, 6:19, 6:22, 6:29, 6:33, 6:50, 7:02, 7:06, 7:10, 7:12,
7:19, 7:27, 7:33, 7:38, 7:41, 7:50, 8:08, 8:11, 8:12, 8:13, 8:15,
8:18, 8:20, 8:22, 8:23, 8:24,8:49, 8:51, 9:00, 9:03, 9:09, 9:17,
9:19, 9:28, 9:33, 9:38,9:41, 9:42, 9:55, 10:11, 10:20, 10:22,
10:37, 10:41, 10:42,10:43, 10:48, 10:52, 10:59, 11:00, 11:01,
11:14, 11:17, 11:20, 11:23, 11:25, 11:32, 11:38, 11:48,
11:50, 11:52, 11:54, 11:57, 12:03, 12:07, 12:11, 12:14,
12:17, 12:19, 12:22, 12:24, 12:32, 12:39, 12:51, 12:59,
1:03, 1:05, 1:13, 1:18, 1:21, 1:28, 1:32, 1:39, 1:41,
1:52, 1:53, 1:59, 2:01, 2:08, 2:12, 2:19, 2:23, 2:29,
2:31, 2:32, 2:33, 2:34, 2:35, 2:37, 2:41, 2:42, 2:51,
3:01, 3:04, 3:09, 3:16, 3:17, 3:19, 3:21, 3:24, 3:26,
3:32, 3:34, 3:35, 3:37, 3:39, 3:41, 3:44, 3:49, 3:50,
3:53, 3:58, 4:04, 4:07, 4:12, 4:15, 4:18, 4:20, 4:21,
4:31, 4:39, 4:49, 4:52, 4:59, 5:05, 5:09, 5:15, 5:22,
5:29, 5:31, 5:40, 5:42, 5:52, 6:02, 6:12, 6:18, 6:25,
6:32, 6:44, 6:45, 6:49, 6:52, 6:59, 7:04, 7:18, 7:21,
7:23, 7:31, 7:37, 7:44, 7:48, 7:52, 7:59, 8:00, 8:02,
8:09, 8:19, 8:28, 8:33, 8:38, 8:41, 8:45, 8:57, 8:58,
9:09, 9:11, 9:14, 9:18, 9:20, 9:27, 9:31, 9:37, 9:39,
9:49, 9:59, 10:09, 10:19, 10:29, 10:33, 10:39, 10:44,
10:49, 10:51, 10:58, 11:09, 11:19, 11:29, 11:35,
11:42, 11:49, 11:58, 11:59 [...]
lead-pack-dog
coughs at the cold wind
already new january
dead-cop-dad
storyline
to-do-right-thing-right-way-right-away
or king’s portrait
on the fififi repit
word, wood, would, wind, wine, wish, went, wire, will, word
celine, cezanne, corbusier
no york for a new one
nine, ten, eleven, twelve - breathe -
(we keep this between you and me)
east river
glittered
catholic men’s
crossed gems
(all eyes true for you)
concealing contraband
under a full moon
(for you)
coup de foudre
love at fififi rst sight
stasis is death
friends for life
a frequent few days late
and stomach ache
in cafes and no-bars
for a while
and outside
temperature in the positive
implies
better moods
ideally idle
with cigarettes
better wages
and constant inflflfl ux
of good-drug-friendship
drip-dry-3am-wednesday
leaving in february
in a particular way
or
mid-day-mixup passionate bed-romps
three poems about memory [for papersafe)]
1.
every day a new place of no history for no limits,
borders,
or jokes of not existing -
(men may go dead but never rocks)
another overzealous tip-toeing
along the edge of the boat
(all the english poets drowned in the
mediterranean)
forget the future -
in every thorn, a fortune
2.
my nose a sundial
and you tell the time offffff my teeth
3.
a dosed-over daydream where no feet shufflfflffl e to the end of the night,
too loudly
might change shirts / or else stay another drink
the soft white fog of corner seated and wry no-pouring over
3 unedited poems and
“all your mixed drinks in heaven.”
night poem (very drunk and late):
sorry i woke you
when some spirit followed me home
smashing things around
and spilling water glasses
after i noticed i drank too much
after i drank too much
after i noticed i did too much drugs
after i did too much drugs
and i just wanted to sleep
knowing how bad i was i going to feel
but feeling that bad anyways
because only assholes get married
and i compete with them all day
as distinct as dust returned to eyes
crushingly genuine,
that most gin-blood life line!
you can at least
call yourself a good person
if you worry about
rent
life
dying
the nothing to declare life
cautious crossing nothing
“it’s root, hog, or die
for us folks.”
tennessee cat
sings like stars being born
before i was born
forgive me
the wind turns my mood into
taxi cabs and no fare
in france,
we won’t put a horse to hell for
no man
the coats go on at dovercourt with
the movie theatre stayed silent
compulsive writer of poems
for the city
and those city on trains
no sparkling water or coffffff ee
too rushed narcotic nose runs
toward pisco-sour-saturday-night
an unexpected following
all streets named after governors
and none familiar
(i’m going to live forever,
baby remember my name)
all strangers starting fififi ghts
with my precious psychic space
excusing myself to be excused
as an excuse for
bad-behavior-bender
two groping teens in the subway
an american sense of optimistic failure
for every body to be buried,
a hole
a slowdeath on westbound train
gap years and two found keys
on hangover monday morning
last time for a while / research dictates
exchanging for something green
and a woman without
and change gets exchanged
and the day gets expensive (as expected)
all words stay written on walls
the crown for a prince of no signifififi cance
must tell you, cousin
all late or loosely
being-date-or-deadline
can wait anyways
saturday nights are off
for most anyways
“reading
researching
working
worrying”
i am surprised
by
the garbage
of my love
on the carpet
of your
better-life-than-me
reckless
and not many pages
in my twenties
or 30 or
‘look how they shine for you’
in a cabin
with fififi fteen men
and
‘how long must you wait for me’
‘or it’
or however the song goes
i think a bad
thought
or
otherwise
just hit my
admitted
god
i can’t wait to share
this mess all over your
life
advil and blood water-down
easily (obviously)
casually quoting
the only cure for carelessness
“it all ends at all once”
heat-wave or head-ache
take my name offffff your
all yr lists
“i don’t feel like participating”
outside city limits
nothing to blues about
nothing like
north american nothing
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